FRUIT CAKE RECIPE - Guaranteed to put you in the holiday spirit.
.by Kenneth Chernow on Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 5:40pm.You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four
large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup
of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of rum.
Sample the rum and check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the rum again. To be sure it is the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the
electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add
one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the rum is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the
mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the rum and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups
of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the rum. Now sift the
lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of
something. Whatever you find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the
rum again and go to bed.